Thanks to Colin of the LIGHTS Message Boards, we now have a diagnosis for our avid love for LIGHTS. Check out the symptoms below to see if you have this (fictitious, of course) syndrome!
LIGHTS Addiction Syndrome (LAS) is a highly contagious emotional disorder characterized by inability to stop listening to LIGHTS’ music and visiting her myriad of Internet outlets to read all of her blogs, watch all of her videos, and any other similar activity.
Origins
The original vector of LAS is Jeremy the Bug (Source: Written confession in this thread).
Causes
The precise cause of LAS is unknown. It has been postulated that prolonged exposure to LIGHTS’ deeply moving songs and lyrics directly targets the patient’s pleasure centre in the brain (Poxleitner et al. 2009). Conversely, others have theorized that the down-to-earth and free-spirited personality of LIGHTS as the main cause of LAS (TarantuLance et al. 2009). Carriers of LAS are able to modulate their resistance to a certain degree, thereby making them ideal agents of proliferation (Kotanen 2009).
Diagnosis
Patients with LAS exhibit a variety of symptoms. Some common symptoms include (but are not limited to):
i) Greatly reduced stress levels while listening to any song by LIGHTS
ii) A general feeling of helplessness while attempting to turn off a LIGHTS song
iii) Involuntary smiling during each of LIGHTS’ interviews
iv) Inability to not feel good after reading/watching a LIGHTS blog/vlog
v) Melting of heart every time LIGHTS laughs
vi) Absolute loss of inhibition to change the world for the better (nblsavage et al. 2009)
vii) Episodes of uncontrollable love and/or goodwill towards others (Jinn 2009)
viii) Insatiable desire to go to every LIGHTS show within 20.3 light years (192,000,000,000,000 km) (Jeremy the LAS-transmitting Bug and Kayla 2009)
ix) A sense of disorientation and pure unadulterated awesomeness as a result of seeing and/or meeting LIGHTS (Marc with a C et al. 2009)
x) Impulsive tendencies to buy official LIGHTS merch
It has been found that the latter symptom is susceptible to a 10000% increase in likelihood following a LIGHTS concert, meeting with LIGHTS, or other similar life-altering events by (Mike2025 et al. 2009).
Prognosis
LAS is not life-threatening and generally not disabling, but it may be persistent enough to cause prolonged states of euphoria that are sometimes accompanied by bouts of excessive creativity. There is some degree of contagiousness associated with LAS that is amplified in the presence of other LAS patients. LAS is unique in that it does not require physical contact with other affected patients in order to propagate itself. Any LIGHTS-related auditory or visual stimulus can trigger the onset of LAS, whether it be sent physically or virtually (nblsavage et al. 2009). Fortunately there is no cure, and the effects will continue for the lifetime of the patient.
Disclaimer: This disorder is not yet recognized by the World Health Organization